


Tiny Infinities

by Aesthetic_bane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Bottom Alec, Clary Fray/ Jace Wayland - Freeform, Continuation, Dancer Alec, Dancer Alec Lightwood, Dancer Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/ Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past non consensual, Recovery, Relapse, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Simon Lewis - Freeform, Sizzy - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Top Magnus Bane, clary fray - Freeform, jace wayland - Freeform, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 07:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_bane/pseuds/Aesthetic_bane
Summary: The first time Alec saw him...Everything in his head went quiet.All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just, disappeared. When you're Alec Lightwood,you don't really get quite moments, even in his bed he's thinking, but when Alec saw him, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of his lips..For Alec, dance is his oxygen, the only time he can really communicate perfectly, he's never had it easy, from being the first born to a family of lawyers( dance wasn't the dream they had for their eldest ) on top of being anti social, gay and having horrific childhood experiences, Alec doesn't expect to find someone who wants him. Enter Magnus Bane.**Continuation of Hairpin Curve, I recommend reading that one first**





	Tiny Infinities

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after chapter 29s events 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, sorry this took so long to actually get up  
> **TRIGGER WARNING**

By the time the movie had finished Alec was sound asleep on Magnus’ lap, looking so adorably relaxed that Magnus couldn’t bring himself to wake him. Instead he said his goodbyes and carried Alec bridal style out to the car. After he buckled Alec in and got himself situated he got ready to drive off when he heard Izzy’s voice calling out

“Hey Magnus! Wait up”

Putting the car back into park Magnus rolled down his window as Izzy approached

“Yeah?” Magnus asked curiously, Izzy’s serious expression made Magnus more attentive to what she would say next

“Just-“ Izzy sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear before speaking again, “He’s really in love with you Magnus..the way he looks at you? I haven’t seen him like this with anyone else and..” Izzy faltered, her gaze softening as it wandered over to Alec’s sleeping form in the passengers seat, “Just, take care of him alright ? Don’t hurt him please” Izzy said, letting her eyes settle back on Magnus’

Magnus nodded, feeling an intense feeling in his chest as he looked over at Alec as Izzy had done before clearing his throat and speaking “Of course. Have a good night Isabelle”

On the ride home Magnus couldn’t help but be lost in his thoughts. Being with Alec was so utterly perfect and magical- he was afraid that he would fuck it up somehow. Alec knew all of him now and Magnus knew all of Alec- as far as he was concerned- and yet, Magnus felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was so incredibly in love with Alec he didn’t know how to breathe without him. It really was a crazy thought considering they had been dating for less then a year. When Magnus really thought about it, they had opened up to each other in less then a month, they had their first fight in the second and they’ve had plenty more since then and.. it’s only been a couple months. Was Magnus so busy looking at everything through rose colored lenses to see that maybe he and Alec..weren’t good for each other? Were they going to be one of those relationships that burned bright before fizzling out before the year ended? A summer fling? Magnus sighed heavy at the thought and shook his head to himself as if to physically rid himself of such thoughts. He and Alec couldn’t be just that, they had to be so much more then that. Yeah, their love was at a scary fast pace but, Magnus has never been one for doing things the conventional way anyway. Magnus reaches over and flicked on the radio, hoping songs would rid his mind of its over thinking. Lucky for him it semi worked, with the rest of the ride being smooth. Once they reached his loft he parked his car and got out, going around to Alec’s side, shaking Alec’s sleeping form to wake him. It didn’t take long for Alec to jolt awake, noticeably looking around confused for a few seconds before his eyes landed on Magnus and he sleepily smiled

Magnus returned the smile and brought his hand up to lovingly stroke Alec’s curls, “Hey darling, we’re home, come on” Magnus said, offering Alec a hand out of the car. 

Alec blinked his sleepy blue eyes slowly before accepting Magnus’ hand and groggily following him into the building and up to Magnus’ loft. Once inside, Magnus watched amused as Alec removed his clothes, eyes half closed before peeling back the soft blankets of Magnus’ bed and falling into the soft mattress, visibly sighing in contentment before quickly falling back into a silent sleep. Magnus smiles to himself, laughing softly at his boyfriend’s adorable innocent actions before changing into his pajamas himself and following suit, slipping in the bed next to his boyfriend and snuggling close, his calming smell lulling Magnus to sleep.

••••••••••••

Insistent knocking and a persistent headache is what Alec wakes up to. Cracking his eyes open he looks over and sees that Magnus is still soundly asleep. With a sigh and a groan Alec sits up slowly in his bed. He really shouldn’t have drank last night is all he thinks as he reluctantly leaves the warmth of the bed to get the door, not wanting the knocking to ruin Manus’ sleep as well.

“Alright alright I’m coming” Alec says as he approaches the door. The person on the other side seemingly hears him because the knocking ceases and Alec throws open the door, getting ready to tell off whoever it was for ruining his peaceful sleep before he stopped short, as he realized who it was.

 

“Sebastian?” Alec breathed, hand on the door, his body still stuck in place by shock, “How did you...” Alec asked at a loss for words and mostly unable to speak as his mind was yet to catch up with what was happening before him 

“How did I what? Find you? Well it wasn’t exactly hard Alec” Sebastian said,looking bored before stepping closer to Alec which only made Alec reflexively step away

“Aw come on baby” Sebastian tutted, “That’s no way to greet me” 

Alec felt the anger slowly rising in his chest, taking place of the shock and pushing aside mild fear as he stepped forward, closing the door behind him so Alec could keep this conversation from waking Magnus “What do you mean Sebastian. We’re not friends, we’re not even aqainetnses. I don’t know how you got here but you need to leave right now” Alec said, taking great effort to keep his voice steady

Sebastian feigned a hurt expression and once agin stepped closer to Alec who stood his ground despite the urge to flinch away. Sebastian lifted a finger and ran it down the side of Alec’s face, causing him to tense up because despite his best efforts, it felt like Sebastian was physically burning him 

“Wow Alec you have a mouth on you now huh? You never used to talk to me like that” Sebastian said curiously before gripping Alec’s chin and tilting his head up so he would look him in the eye “I don’t like it” he said, his voice dropping the calm tone it held before and turning to the one Alec knew all too well. Alec kept his gaze down and away but he could feel Sebastians intense stare burning into him

“Is it that guy you’ve been hanging out with?” Sebastian said, prodding Alec as his observant gaze never left his face. Alec tried to keep his face neutral but at the mention of Magnus he felt himself blanch and leave it to Sebastian to notice his weakness’

“So it is him” Sebastian said almost eerily calm before continuing, “Really Alec? Him? Do you really think he’ll want you for long? After a while he’ll see how useless and plain you are and then you’ll come crawling back to me” he said stepping even closer, virtually boxing Alec in when he took an unconscious step closer to the wall and away from him. Sebastian looked at him now, confident smirk slipping from his face, instead his left eye squinted in genuine confusion

“Look Alec baby I know you’re a little-“

Alec scoffed disbelievingly, “Don’t. Call. Me. Baby. We aren’t together anymore. And a little what? A little angry? I am not angry Sebastian, I was in pain, and you put me there, the person who is supposed to love me more than anything-“ Alec exclaimed angrily before breaking off to calm himself down, and gain enough strength to talk without his voice noticeably quivering. He was about to open his mouth and say something else but he realized, right then that, he didn’t need to give Sebastian anymore of his attention, it wasn’t his job anymore, so Alec shook his head and turned to walk back into the loft when he felt Sebastian grabbing his wrist and turning him back around, slamming Alec into the wall, his head hitting the surface painfully. His eyes were blazing, his mouth in a tight line and Alec flinched, freezing in place as the panic and anxiety rose in his chest. This... this was the expression he was so used to seeing on Sebastian and if he was honest....it scared the shit out of him, so many terrible memories came flooding in, but he promptly pushed them back best he could, and stood his ground best he could in order to get Sebastian to let him go. He wasn’t weak and all he knew was that he wouldn’t let Sebastian have power over him again. 

“Don’t you dare think about walking away from me Alec. We aren’t finished. We never were, you are mine” Sebastian said in a low growl, his green eyes clouded with anger, “I say when this ends not you” 

“Let go of me-“ Alec started only for his voice to falter when in one swift move Sebastian pushed up against him and proceeded to kiss him. Alec felt his body essentially panic and shut down, his mind swamping him with memories from that night as anxiety rose in his chest. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he was paralyzed with fear. He couldn’t let it happen again, he would not let Sebastian take his happiness, not this time. Something switched in Alec and he began struggling against Sebastian coercing before he finally managed to shove him away, promptly wiping his lips with a trembling hand

“What the actual fuck Sebastian! You can’t just do things like that. I’m with Magnus” Alec exclaimed breathless as he stared at the other man horrified, whilst he tried his best to stave of the anxiety attack that was building up within him from the events happening. Sebastian regarded Alec for a moment as if something wasn’t right, his eyes looking up and down his body before his eyes stopped on Alecs’ neck. Alec watched the various emotions pass the mans face before he felt a hand on his chin turning his head to the side harshly. Alec flinched and pushed Sebastian’s hand off, his own hand immediately coming up to rub his neck

Sebastians’ eyes finally left his neck and he started shaking his head as he looked at Alec in disgust and disbelief “You’re a fucking whore you know that?” Sebastian spat so harshly it made Alec immediately fearful. What was he talkin-

“You let him fuck you? And mark you as well. You’re his slut now? You actually spread your legs for him and not me? I treated you better then anyone else would, and you gave me the runaround, but he gets into your pants in less then months?” Sebastian asked jabbing an accusing finger at Alec before scoffing “That’s why you don’t want to be with me? Won’t let me touch you? Because you’re someone else’s bitch?”

 

Alec stood shocked, looking at Sebastian with disbelief “What Magnus and I do, is none of your fucking business, and as for us? You treated me like shit and you abused me, that’s why I don’t want to be with you. Hell, I couldn’t even go to work some days because you beat me so bad” Alec said, the pain clear in his voice “During our fucked up relationship, it was never about me, by the angel, Sebastian, why can’t you understand that! It was about you and how you made me feel when I was with you” Alec said feeling the fire of anger blooming in his chest, “I felt like I was stupid and worthless and I was never right and you know what I realized? that it’s not my fault,” Alec said with a harsh laugh, that held no humor behind it, “I wanted you to care, I didn’t want you to just accept it like that the way it’s supposed to be” Alec said, running his hand through his hair “When I was with you I felt like I was nothing.. I feel like I’m nothing. Not to mention what you took from me-you took and took until there was nothing. If it weren’t for Izzy and Jace I wouldn’t fucking be here, I wanted to die so bad” Alec said a whisper, before shaking his head once more and focusing his eyes on the ceiling, “That’s why I flinch when you go to touch me. It’s why I will myself to never even think about you, because when I start to it reminds me that I wasn’t good enough” Alec said feeling the hot tears of anger start to fall from his eyes. He sighed frustrated, quickly wiping them away before continuing, focusing his eyes back on Sebastians which were now unreadable and emotionless as usual “But you know what? I’m in love...by the angel, am I in love. It’s that sucker punch to the gut, head over heels deal everyone seems to talk about. And the thing is, he loves me back. Real love. And if it took me getting through you to get to him?....I would do it again in a heart beat” Alec said staring Sebastian straight in the eyes as he let the words sink in, before sighing and walking past him to the door, unlocking it with shaking hands, “I’m not your property, I’m not a prize to be won. What we had was not love and I think you know that. You need to go” Alec said before rushing inside and closing the door behind him, locking it immediately. He pressed his back against the door and stood there trembling slightly. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there in the middle of the entrance way until it finally hit him.

Holy fuck. Where did that come from? He actually did that, he stood up to Sebastian. Alec released a harsh breath, bringing his hands up to cover his mouth and he felt as if a million pounds were lifted from his chest. He was no longer afraid, he hadn’t let Sebastian have the control..He felt as if his legs were going to give out from under him at any moment from shock, and they probably would have, if Magnus hadn’t had the best timing in the universe, walking out of their room just then and seeing Alec, immediately rushed to him, wrapping his strong arms around him

“Hey,Hey,Alexander what happened?” Magnus asked into Alecs’ hair, as he held him in a tight embrace. Alec let out a laugh at Magnus’ statement that quickly turned to sobs. 

He really just did that. He was not weak anymore. He stood up and faced his demon straight on and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so he just does both.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and kudos are appreciated  
> Sorry for any grammar errors


End file.
